If you've never been to therapy, reaching out can feel like the hardest part. You might be wondering what you'll be asked, whether you'll have to talk about everything at once, or whether your struggles are "big enough" to deserve support. I want you to know that those questions are completely normal. Many of the people I work with sat with them for months, sometimes years, before sending that first message. So let me take some of the mystery out of it and walk you through wh

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and I want to talk about a place we don't often connect with abuse: the workplace. We tend to think of domestic violence as something that stays behind closed doors. But the people living through it still clock in every morning. They sit in meetings, answer emails, and care for patients, students, and customers, often while carrying fear no one around them can see. What it can look like at work Imagine a coworker whose phone buzze

In my work with individuals and families, I hear one phrase over and over: "We're just a high conflict couple." Sometimes that's true. But often, when I listen more closely, what's being described isn't conflict at all. It's abuse. And the difference between the two changes everything about how we heal. What high conflict looks like High conflict happens between two (or more) people who hold roughly the same amount of power in the relationship. The arguments may be loud, freq

Every year when Hispanic Heritage Month comes around, I find myself sitting with a mix of pride and reflection. It's a chance to pause and really see something that so many of us live every day but rarely stop to name out loud: the richness of what it means to be Latino, to be Hispanic, to carry a culture that is loud with love, rooted in family, and endlessly resilient. For me, and for so many of the families I work with, it starts with language. Spanish isn't just a way of

Have you ever been compared to someone else so often that you started to wonder what was wrong with you? Have you ever heard a story about yourself that didn't sound like anything you actually said or did? If so, you may have experienced triangulation — bringing a third party into a two-person dynamic to create competition, confusion, or division, instead of dealing with an issue directly. It's Not Always a Person We tend to picture triangulation as one specific thing: anothe

There is a particular kind of person I see often in my practice. They answer every email. They remember the birthdays. They have the spreadsheet, the backup plan, and the backup plan for the backup plan. From the outside, they are the one who has it together. On the inside, she is exhausted. This is what high-functioning anxiety often looks like. Not falling apart in a way anyone can see, but holding everything so tightly that letting go feels impossible. How it shows up Hyp

In my work with clients recovering from narcissistic abuse, one pattern shows up more than any other. It isn't the charm or the criticism. It's that nothing is ever their fault. Accountability requires sitting with the discomfort of having caused harm. For someone with narcissistic traits, that discomfort feels unbearable — so they hand it to you instead. It sounds like: "You're the reason I cheated." "You're the reason I can't find a job." "This is why I can't launch my busi

Summer has its own rhythm, doesn't it? Looser mornings. Fewer places to be. And then, almost overnight, we're back to lunchboxes, alarms, and full calendars. If this shift into fall has left you feeling more unsettled than you expected, I want you to know — you're not imagining it, and there's nothing wrong with you. Transitions, even good ones, even ones we chose, ask a lot of our nervous systems. Why It Feels Bigger Than It "Should" In my work, I remind clients often: our b

Seeing an ex move on quickly can feel brutal. Seeing an ex with narcissistic traits do it after a long relationship can feel unreal. One week, you are trying to make sense of years of memories, arguments, promises, apologies, and emotional exhaustion. The next week, they seem lit up by someone new. They may post photos, talk about being “finally happy,” or act as if the relationship barely happened. The speed can make you question everything. Did they ever love you? Were the

A note before you read: this piece comes from my own experience as a woman in a heterosexual relationship, and from what I've witnessed growing up in Hispanic culture. I share it not as a universal truth for every woman or every culture, but as one lens — mine — on a pattern I know many others will recognize. There's an unspoken rule that many women grow up absorbing without ever being told it directly: whatever goes wrong, look at her first. I know this rule intimately. I've

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I still miss someone who hurt me?” You may know the relationship wasn't healthy. You may understand why you left, yet still find yourself thinking about that person, missing the good moments, or wondering if things could have been different. This doesn't mean you're weak or that you made the wrong decision. You Can Miss Someone and Still Know They Weren't Good for You Relationships are complicated. You may miss the connection, affection,