Have you ever been compared to someone else so often that you started to wonder what was wrong with you? Have you ever heard a story about yourself that didn't sound like anything you actually said or did? If so, you may have experienced triangulation — bringing a third party into a two-person dynamic to create competition, confusion, or division, instead of dealing with an issue directly. It's Not Always a Person We tend to picture triangulation as one specific thing: anothe

There is a particular kind of person I see often in my practice. They answer every email. They remember the birthdays. They have the spreadsheet, the backup plan, and the backup plan for the backup plan. From the outside, they are the one who has it together. On the inside, she is exhausted. This is what high-functioning anxiety often looks like. Not falling apart in a way anyone can see, but holding everything so tightly that letting go feels impossible. How it shows up Hyp

In my work with clients recovering from narcissistic abuse, one pattern shows up more than any other. It isn't the charm or the criticism. It's that nothing is ever their fault. Accountability requires sitting with the discomfort of having caused harm. For someone with narcissistic traits, that discomfort feels unbearable — so they hand it to you instead. It sounds like: "You're the reason I cheated." "You're the reason I can't find a job." "This is why I can't launch my busi

Summer has its own rhythm, doesn't it? Looser mornings. Fewer places to be. And then, almost overnight, we're back to lunchboxes, alarms, and full calendars. If this shift into fall has left you feeling more unsettled than you expected, I want you to know — you're not imagining it, and there's nothing wrong with you. Transitions, even good ones, even ones we chose, ask a lot of our nervous systems. Why It Feels Bigger Than It "Should" In my work, I remind clients often: our b

Seeing an ex move on quickly can feel brutal. Seeing an ex with narcissistic traits do it after a long relationship can feel unreal. One week, you are trying to make sense of years of memories, arguments, promises, apologies, and emotional exhaustion. The next week, they seem lit up by someone new. They may post photos, talk about being “finally happy,” or act as if the relationship barely happened. The speed can make you question everything. Did they ever love you? Were the

A note before you read: this piece comes from my own experience as a woman in a heterosexual relationship, and from what I've witnessed growing up in Hispanic culture. I share it not as a universal truth for every woman or every culture, but as one lens — mine — on a pattern I know many others will recognize. There's an unspoken rule that many women grow up absorbing without ever being told it directly: whatever goes wrong, look at her first. I know this rule intimately. I've

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I still miss someone who hurt me?” You may know the relationship wasn't healthy. You may understand why you left, yet still find yourself thinking about that person, missing the good moments, or wondering if things could have been different. This doesn't mean you're weak or that you made the wrong decision. You Can Miss Someone and Still Know They Weren't Good for You Relationships are complicated. You may miss the connection, affection,